42, 38, 48. The numbers.
Belief is a powerful tool. I see my thoughts. I am in the most profound state of doubt. And when you doubt, its hard to imagine why you should be doing this at all. Last night I wanted to can the whole project. My brain felt tight with all the concentrating on doing the right thing. Really, it sucked! It seems completely impossible that on the third day of this "diet" I am easily 8 pounds lighter...in three days? I am just waiting for the scale to slow down to a couple of ounces a day; that i can believe becuase I believe I am such a hard winner; that means i just believe the universe won't give me anthing easily; I have to fight every step of the way and prepare for big disappointments. The funny thing is that i am hoping the universe has mercy, but it is more likely, the universe doesn't particularly care. I think of the universe as a paradoxical indifferent sympathetic entity. Still, I have to get this out of my head. I will lose 2 pounds a day until it becomes one and then, when this program is over, I will be what I am, 167 pounds.
The numbers...If I lose one pounds per day, then I will be from 219 to, let's see, i have 40 days left, so that means i will be 189 pounds when this one is over (that's 31 pounds). Then I go away for six weeks, eating protein and veggies. Drinking my coffee and tea. No dairy, starch or sugar. I'll bring the stevia. When I come back in August, I begin again and then it is just another 22 pounds to lose. I should be good by October 1.
Please universe; hear me; I need to live; i need to be out of this house in my head; I need my body, health, and career, : I need love. Not romantic love, although I want that, but Eros. Be fair. Be less cruel this year.
Belief is a powerful tool. I see my thoughts. I am in the most profound state of doubt. And when you doubt, its hard to imagine why you should be doing this at all. Last night I wanted to can the whole project. My brain felt tight with all the concentrating on doing the right thing. Really, it sucked! It seems completely impossible that on the third day of this "diet" I am easily 8 pounds lighter...in three days? I am just waiting for the scale to slow down to a couple of ounces a day; that i can believe becuase I believe I am such a hard winner; that means i just believe the universe won't give me anthing easily; I have to fight every step of the way and prepare for big disappointments. The funny thing is that i am hoping the universe has mercy, but it is more likely, the universe doesn't particularly care. I think of the universe as a paradoxical indifferent sympathetic entity. Still, I have to get this out of my head. I will lose 2 pounds a day until it becomes one and then, when this program is over, I will be what I am, 167 pounds.
The numbers...If I lose one pounds per day, then I will be from 219 to, let's see, i have 40 days left, so that means i will be 189 pounds when this one is over (that's 31 pounds). Then I go away for six weeks, eating protein and veggies. Drinking my coffee and tea. No dairy, starch or sugar. I'll bring the stevia. When I come back in August, I begin again and then it is just another 22 pounds to lose. I should be good by October 1.
Please universe; hear me; I need to live; i need to be out of this house in my head; I need my body, health, and career, : I need love. Not romantic love, although I want that, but Eros. Be fair. Be less cruel this year.
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