216.4

Gained five punds in one night. Why?

Rage!

That fucken package is not even in the US yet, so I have no idea when or if i will ever see it; Everything was futile if I have to be off the shit for over a week; all that money and effort gone because drugdelivery is a bunch of fucked up freaks who can not tell you that they are out of stock in somethign and may not be able to ship it for a week, meaning you may not see the thing you ordered for a fucken month! So angry because i could have spent a lot less on all this shit.

Everyone says hcg mail is overpriced, but what i spent in shipping on two different places cost me more than what I would have spent on hcgmail. i would have gotten material so that i did not have to reorder shit; and maybe it would have made more sense...i don't know if i had committed to them, at least i wouldn't be going through this.

whatever; i am back on, and a little glad because i think i needed the fat for my hcg shot to work on this week. that way there isn't more of me going, just the little extra fat to give me some time...a little space. i don't know i probably lost two weeks instead of one, but i gained a month of mental sanity. so I'm good. plus i'm not hungry like i've been. its been retty bad. I totally underdosed myself, so i needed the fat...for sure. especially since i have to do a couple of days with it becuase of the postal service. i'm still angry but i am through with the sabbotage.

plus lali set me off; you can not rely on people who have been disappointed with life to be supportaiove of you in your life; especially when they think when they are looking at you you are just a reflection.

whew1 i'm kind of ok now.